Camp Plan

5am start
9am end

 

Fri	Sat	Sun	Mon	Tue
Time trial	Time trial Family Meeting Crew Selection	Train as crew with coach	Train as crew with coach	In Quads selected by Coach, long row. Light to get timing

Food = Light snack

Still reelin' rejection

Friday Jemma tells me she does not want to stay with me in the holidays because Megan will be home and I will be at work.  She goes onto say she no longer wants to do the week about thing. 

Seems like a soon as I almost get my life stable another thing knocks me down. 

It's Sunday night and I still feel like crap. Rejection Rejection Rejection.  Why bother. 

Monday 30 Nov 4:30am

It's a heavy heart I carry with me. Walking around an empty house.  As I drive to the rowing club the emphasis in my mind is "on my own". I seem to be at odds with society.  Words like "incompatible" come to mind and especially "unlikable".  Why the fuck.... I ask myself.  Why is there no consideration. Certainly no forgiveness. One failing is a continuous failing.  The police have to be right every time the terrorist only has to succeed once.  Well a husband,  one error is held forever against him. Over time he is nothing but a collection of accumulated failures. 

7am

Breakfast on my own at a Cafe. Can't stomach going home to an empty house. Been at Centenary working with Ros on the camp program. 

9:15am I am still feeling light headed and tense in the chest and shoulders.  Tight stomach just thinking about this.  Trying not to think about it but it just keeps bubbling up.  I pay pay pay and get no love back.   Evey moment reminds me of my failings as a human being.  Paying of the house, starting a business that sustains us means I get fuck all cash and still I pay but an empty house reminds me continually that i have lost out.  Contributing to society, being involved with the community.  All means nothing.

Tuesday 1 December 

I've got a mild headache and tummy ache. Mild depression. No energy. No coffee but can't sleep. The stupid thing is that I'm sad about my life but there's stacks of people far worse off than me. Illogical. 

7:30pm

Still got headache. 

Still reminded of the Rejection and loneliness. No one to be here with me. 

Tried watching movies but that does not work so well with a headache ora heartache. Listening to Spotify and just feeling sad. 

Friday 4 December 

4:35am. Been awake for hours.  Feeling down. Low. Cripes it's a lonely existance. 

7:50am at work but feel low too. ruminating over all this.

 

 

Regatta

Wyaralong

Hot

Foggy on the way. 

Brigo come and try gr6

The last of three come-and-try days for current gr6 children who will be attending Brigidine next year. 

We had a visit from Laura David (director of sport) and Brendan Cahill (Principal).  I figure that secretly they both want to go rowing.

Email Signature Pictures

 I am investigating making email signatures. 

 4-MAY-2021

OK had some success

Used https://base64.guru/converter/encode/image - Works best as it puts the tags around it.

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1YFwTVhrVVTajChDa6sWzP1Knjpthm6r0lIpxE0vTzCRkw6ecHBLyGQ6/Ceqx5hxbY+yeON0IyujU7ihBhB018YnCuLqoQsp5VIsbqT6egOgaAttkvozxHPQDDDsLI4qLkvTQFXw1ChsFjJ2RvrIi5k5jBJbZXng4PLZWEW2JBLQx0rQkuqqlQLh90v1owe9XhZ7mZmup1ULooKpE8m1iHmZBH2WkE7gMDLIORiOd31OIAqGGvb8jY3ku4YKU4BbOUv652pZYQrxdEQH1cxJtiYbcTqiaoLRTEg1RgCxTbqXg/5DHeFM2SQmsQFIqCElB0YJyiq4dimQg1pnPhwSs+odlBuZzfvVg8QMmOYGHOUOMrWsCsQDOEwPogz5ouf6Bq49KQO5qfdlTFTspwVWQ+JrVjC7qxcczZ9lhkNxcEdLdl6oEGDupxKdqJUEh+stQt6seEm7HqYTR8bNCBKQq9KvCgLHK7gWRPG7GD1fFoSl8pTwWHpdYcNIMIJdbF+8UXDJxKWZZDVMtAxt6AIswV8gyfHieZwGXmXsNm6WzJn0CS1xyzsvWDGEL3KO55laLDBfGLQUaFy17MuxLhEH3lfhYf3wtWuSleZ8ZpwhJyUSpGprj4RRIZ4W1kQN6fmxLAgSKQ/L4Xqzq7SV3p5bSbdAODCRAQvgcTHxlElUS+LatqZIOpKlsfvQoRo09I9nq3Y0wbmFspygQCvm7EkS9I10nfpBMoMprDWyKq8VcFVEPwjUgm3wbVkUuiJNOSpfICttot5yIGA1RnwH9B2KUoH+rinkDzwP3JIV96Q6dE9fPwFDpwKjkaj8aSAhlCDb+kJD+W1B66jj06xooSpKziThKSG5DQacQZgwU/oM7WG1pnSBBkWfnWWxKsgDgQtaavUagzBDz0AFDsx8OBUOtf0HwaYCOtF9833tvzurzNWLpBRuST5GwPF8AegCauSK86zEF3Ri3htX6OFdkhpXjVQ+lMWF8X2sKKIW/Rpct4XCbEkTC3UOFNpbJVe4s4hK0Ic3NYRN2ZIug1gSAELOuZynigKflAQ3Y2H9eUVLb4hagYI6csokkjmg9pjZzdGrHfUHg1LGzAyNjCjw2wJKu8Tl58f0bGVdTtN6RybrLsXQx+HFCQGycOAoRmZk3gJYncLzkvjQFecgPklcdla993PSTaQj6ywPjTVoImgzSTUbL1jS6MagRtZGQ8JBeDDCxH66EObN0ScBTuEisCCS7fmYgW1bESauO194kX7cKI4lgClZ4ZWd66VHet6HBsCOyrEQvSaZwRuoIhhzWMjfySCes8KCSOBy2fEe//6CBoljbrJt9AAal6uYh/WQDfGcmpW9LlfnV15sESrOJKB140EqCMbBPcSEPd1twqBml+cMwnnkq/mU8WTmqwC5hrfXMK7gVH0fxfCwdUl3UaPzC1QMFKA09379h0J4E9FHRyAbiPZu2PWGpyF+fIxk2FBDTPbTB+fsDR5IVYB+bNdTC6Z6kjSTgXfpPauz0MZe2yOrCHrJ6+G7/+H8/5zxq93492/+rji7zz+F06Eo9h02v0fyPqJf5CnaCEAAAGEaUNDUElDQyBwcm9maWxlAAB4nH2RPUjDQBzFX9PWilQcLCjikKE6WRAVcZQqFsFCaSu06mBy6YfQpCFJcXEUXAsOfixWHVycdXVwFQTBDxA3NydFFynxf0mhRYwHx/14d+9x9w4QGhWmmoFxQNUsI52Ii7n8ihh6RRABdGEAkJipJzMLWXiOr3v4+HoX41ne5/4cvUrBZIBPJJ5lumERrxNPb1o6533iCCtLCvE58ZhBFyR+5Lrs8hvnksMCz4wY2fQccYRYLHWw3MGsbKjEU8RRRdUoX8i5rHDe4qxWaqx1T/7CcEFbznCd5jASWEQSKYiQUcMGKrAQo1UjxUSa9uMe/iHHnyKXTK4NMHLMowoVkuMH/4Pf3ZrFyQk3KRwHgi+2/TEChHaBZt22v49tu3kC+J+BK63trzaAmU/S620tegT0bQMX121N3gMud4DBJ10yJEfy0xSKReD9jL4pD/TfAj2rbm+tfZw+AFnqaukGODgERkuUvebx7u7O3v490+rvB+u8cnGL+tyYAAAABmJLR0QA/wD/AP+gvaeTAAAACXBIWXMAAC4jAAAuIwF4pT92AAAAB3RJTUUH5QUEBiEGrK700gAADyxJREFUeNrtnXt4FtWdxz8nIS8QRS2XoBAgcyYgIlBFiReEp4IQqaXW7Wp1WZS6VSJRtNTWbuutIrt2WddepARXiyiKj90tF60ShcIid68UkVtmBpZLScK6YCAQIO/sHzNhJyfz5p33JYEQzvd58sCcmd+Zyznfc363c17hui4aGhrhyNCfQENDE0RDQxNEQ0MTRENDE0RDQxNEQ0MTRENDE0RDQxNEQ0MTRENDQxNEQyMa2rSUB+mTO1ocPxrvD3QC+iin9wB7gR1O5XuVOn9M41RBnK7O1t/8FtVVx64HRgHfAAoizmgVQIldUfqEbj6NVjeDyJzCLsADwD3AhSmKVwMfAVt102m0KoLInMILgMeBIqB9iuJlwL8ieN0uL63SzabRqggicwpvA6YDnVMUPQz8Qgies8pLj+rm0mhVBJFdC7NxmQHcmYb4X4Db7IrSLbqZNFodQWROYVdgPnB1GuILEIy1y0sP6SbSaHUEkTmF3YHlgExDfGasfeZ9m3e8k9C9VjJ9XRdgJDAU+DpwDtARqPIN+U3An4E3iooLDutm1mgxBJFdC7OBt9MkxxtOZXmR637W4MQvpy7j/AuyRwGTgcIk9VwB/D1wLvBb3cwa6aJJI+lCCHCZC1yWhvgaIbg7jBwl09ddfv4F2SuB0gjkOAj8G9CjqLhAk0Oj5cwgRpdRk4BvpyH6FXC7VV5aTx2a+osldOrc4VHgSSAzQj0vA48UFRdU6KbVaJJBv6ki6TKnsBew0bcHUsU4u6J0jjJrxICXfFUpGfYBdxUVF7yT6o1NaXQB/ga4EhjgDxoC2A1sBpZlZmYu2rqtLN6aGt6Uxg+UovmW7ew7Dc8xFOgbKNpi2c7y1jiDTE2THCudyvfqkWPG82sRQswGbo8g7wDXFxUX7EitYWQ2uFOBiUAs5JJBwBjgx7W1tTtMafzQsp15rYgj/64cf+IPNE2rwwuBYeSNA/It2wlLDxqHl1VRh5fwHDytxwaROYX9gLFpij+szmJCiCkRybEDGJYmORYBDyUgh4pewB9NadyrlY6UZocrDSNvDfAKcNHZbKQ/kKbccruidI2iWg0Gfh5B9qA/c+xK/bbuz/FcxCqOAZ8C/5tAcIYpjYG660cixyTgQ+Cqs9pIN7sWtgPuSFP8d8GD3/5qNVlZmTN8GyAZHiwqLnBSvWG+KdsA9yvFq4CHD1ZVrS6v3FfXwLnAvyjvlgH8FPg7TYGkuDTidXOB9YHjL1oVQVyXkcD5aYhWC8HCYEFWVuZIvBhGMqzdV1n1+/Se1x0InKcUf9OynQPBAst2dl3cp8/Y48ePXQoEZ42b2mZlUHMsrinQBLBsZymwtNXOIMDwNOX+rLp1gQkRZZ959MkR6T5vVlRVc8vWra4pjTn+THIM+B9gd4+eee2Bw6Y0bqF+AuZ2y3beD6tLCIE08u4FggbXB5btbDal0ZX67vFNlu2s6NM7X9TW1t4C3AxcAtQA64A3LdtZm0TF6QV8HxiMt6zAAt4TQrxaZtk1KahKX/MN6WsBEziK561cLIRYoNZlSmMYcLH/vEH0NaVRZ4yvtmznc//6SF6s9rE2dMvtcQNwoz9gdfLV7C+ApUKIhWWWfaQlEuTqNOVWKrZHBjA6gtw+qD/zpIj9IWULTWncb9nOevWE7WyfBkxL4A6/QrGX9g0cMKDLXzZsaOjIMPIGAzOV4p51mh/wQqB8pimNnf57qjbPdcBkUxoz2rfPnvj5xo1hRPwZ8ITigBgE3Oq67k9MaXwnIjnuxMvCPlc5dS1wj+u6u01pjLdsZ7HilfpBSHVDA3bfg8DnUb1YpjQu6Zbb43XCA9DDgCLXdfeY0hhr2c6yFmOkC9Ef4PI0xdXOOAjIjiC3uKi4IG39xna2bwG2hHS6z0xprDelMcWUxsh8U7b3VTIaiRW9pBx3PnTo4KgE196iHC+xbGdngmt7AitCyBHEfYcPV/8whIhP4bncE3nnegMfRCBHMTA7hBxBdAcWmdIY05yeMN/YT5ad0c1/lqEthiAyp3tboG2a4mq0++sR5dacnM3kAjyS4PRA4FHgPdd1q0xpLDalMdlXgcL0ZydEf/5umHoVYti/1shjjgZygS+B3wDFePltKh5SOtPlwGPKNTV4btZi4EW8ZM6OSTrlNcDzSvEmvAVvj/oqVh0ygbmmNHL841pfHVUHsbhfHnYu/Dm8QWouDeNrbwEzgDf996tDW+Bl3xFz+gniuvV0x1SheqBiEeW+bALDcAHJXdOZwAjgWWCXKY0XfX1cxSyVIP0u6SuUUX0QXizlhIMC+M9kjwkMsGznQct2fmfZzhjV6wf0NKURdDj8WHWEADdYtnOXX8c9eBkDyVZlPqXai0KIKyzbmWLZzlQhxCAgmLVwDvAj/9sWWbYT88lYb7a1bCfm/z0fsYPd7aufdTgGDLds59uW7Uy0bOd7wA1++YnP7brud1sEQVLo1CHqGaqB3iGi6K6meHG/kYZHnJHaAP8AfGpKo6dy7o9Kh+tUU1NzY5JZZb5lO18luedky3b2JCEjvuFcN0upNtxvLNtZobz3JmBKI7PHhX6nC+L+Mss+0V5lln0UmKRc871m0LD+Vjme7Xu9gu+zAm/d0UbgdeAfge0thSBpL4N13Qa67YGIorlN6WIss+xrfP32abwNIRpDL2BebvduwToOAX9QrrtVUa/UrIBXIzze8hBVbWOCmQ5p5OUDFyjn/iNB3W83ct9rlONDPqnUb2cpanIvUxpNFi0fet110DCYWxp27V9377rNsp3+lu2MtWznmWQevlPmxRKCTSeR69gTqFSmzyjo1JRDlBAC33u1HnjMlMb5vmdkpD/yd1OdCW3btv2W0sleBu4OHN/cO9/M3FZm1UojbyD118aUx2Kx0mTP9djjTzTwtn11YP/hDuclDDmdF/JuG0JHtaNHN8ViCSf/LqqWYEpjY8R7dgf+2hTtsmfP7q40zOAODQxX1xyjuXBSM4hdsf0okK7vWTV8P4sod3VTESPflFn5psxSRsYDlu28ZdnOpMzMzFzg4RDxGxXP2AfAtkBRx3g8PjqBejVr0+YtSYeV8ePHNyg7eLAqpcGutrY2dIbfuWt3Y/Wos1AW0C/BXzvl2h5N2Dd7hTUbpxgnaaRvSaVj05jXSgg+xQv8JMMIP2aSMjpkt8OUxlpTGuulkXfcdd2jruuOS3T91m1lrmU7z+JtIBGEEeIZUyP7t/n/puK9OhnVtcEwmpGR0S106s7t3lg9VSGq76KIf/ubsG/+dzOYBKdWxfKxJs1RfUjwYMLEArdk+rp3Ah0rETrjRZZTTj2vqj6CKY3OispzR0jnbjB4RxjJZgH/FDg3xpTGZYoX5rO6CHIzIGyRWF+8bVvrTwmxWGMuddV5UGXZzuhT3TG7Xnjh3vK9e2sVNetKvEwC1bEwFLjJN9Q3ZmRkrN9WZtW2BCMdYEmacsPNroXqBnIvRJR95Okn071tA0PvBlMaNzfi1RkcMgB8EWK0lgPvKqqKGkic3VwdyrKd3SFkuCXB5Y1tw7RCdYqY0rg05LsYpjSeNaXxfVMaV+Sbsl0yhSOV91m1ajU0DGjemuDyCXixrVeAj+Px+IKW4sVCCBan4IEKor3r1l+ee+TIsSV4UdNkuKpzlw53p/nIL4aUveFH0HOFEAghMKXR2V//8X7Id0o0e72sGvSB/8cjqlcnAzW2MlElvymNETTMZg4SbUdIG8wwpXEiy6Gmpga8gORkf/b9yHXdnUqATp1l6wKJ9M43o/Y71Tv4DVMak9u2EcH3GR6ixv6hxRDEKi89ghftTAcTgwcP/WhIXVmU0ebXJdPXGWmMtJ+EjOTt8CLEO6WRF5dGXtz3sM2kYaZyqWU7KxMY/gtIHMhcZNlOZTMTZBrUiy9lAPNNabxrSmOmKY2FwGKSx6/UlX9DgQ9NafzElMaEfpf0nYeXCBnE1DLLPh44VtfUfMeUxjpTGpvj8fiUiI6UWXjbzgbxbG7PPNuUxhxTGit9DSZIRlsIMbfFEMRHuruHDJM5hfX87kXFBR/hxSSS4Vxgacn0dblpEjNRPpJoxFviAOMTVeoH0OYkOP37ZiYHfm7XfQm8bvfiLSGuM4CXNlLPuzRMNekH/BIoAdRkxyWxWOzXStnqkKoH42X6RtqC1g9O3h5iAxp4K1ivVcqrgXF+O7QcgtgVpV+chPowTYj6A1o87j6OFxVNhl7A8pLp63ql2JGqhRCj8JL6omwsV+sb4ZdZtrM3ybVhRNgvhHj7VBi3lu3M9jtPIo/gRrw4z55G29TZ/gBepnJ1kluWCCHGqK5rIcRbjQxC/VJ4n499Yn2S5NKtwEjLdlY15fds6buavADcFUF+H3BnUXHBu6ne2JRGR+CbeBm9ffj/4NchvF1NPgTejkAMz5U1axZPT3mqPKhzAy/6eVCJnkFdDxK3bOelEJUDaeSp9cwPU918b90Ef5S9CC+9/E+xWOzNTZu3uKY0rlc8bPPCdjUxpdHJN44L8FYJZuHFfDYCr/kR9VDkm7Kd67p34u1lZvietg3AQst2Pgh4oJKuB/HfvdCvawBewPhLvCTK9zMyMv7UVJ6rZiGIT5IHgV+lIfoVMNCuKK23+cI/T1nK1zqe8zO85Lko+2LNAn56OvfFMqVxFQ3zu4bVdQiNMwtNShAhBEaXUQtIb/O4NUIwPGSVISXT112Gt3Dn2gj1HPRnnufS29DhpMiRDfwXnr++DjteeXVO3pAhQ3RvO9sJAid+8mAl6W0/+oZTeeAO122YYOvvzTsSz7V4Y8T6JjX39qOmNJ7AS5sRAVUiiMmW7Tynu5omSFDVOl27ux/0bYdTtru77zpNtKLOBjHAsu1q3dU0QVSSnBW/D2JKYyaeC1XFTuAmy3Y26G525qLZkr/sitJyBCOItvZBxc24rJI5hRefAd/wLWAZ8DGeK3Ie3mrFfpocegaJOpuk+xuF1cBT+jcKNVo1QXySnOyv3E5DMFf/yq1GqyRIgCgn+zvpy4DX7YrS13TzaZyxNkgjtkmlXVH6ePZ5WRfhbZrwDLCWaFvBZOPFGC7WTafRKmeQROiTO1ocPxrv79spvfEyeuuSBvcAe4EdTuXaStfdr1tO4+wiiIaGVrE0NDRBNDQ0QTQ0NEE0NDRBNDQ0NEE0NDRBNDQ0QTQ0NEE0NDRBNDQ0QTQ0zmD8H/LCGHN8msFkAAAAAElFTkSuQmCC" /></td>
            <td style=" border-color: white">Frank Thomson, <br />
            Director   0414 329 164<br />
            <a href="frank.thomson@syndetic.com.au">frank.thomson@syndetic.com.au</a></td>
        </tr>
    </tbody>
</table>

<span style="font-size:10px">4/20 Cansdale St, YERONGA QLD 4104 Brisbane Australia ABN: 70 088 105 837<br />
ABN: 70 088 105 837&nbsp; &nbsp;www.syndetic.com.au</span>
 

 In thunderbird,Tools>account settings

10-NOV-2020

At present some of my email my signatures have a graphic.
My Centenary Rowing signature looks like this 

<table style="height: 138px; width: 597.067px;">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td style="width: 36px;">
<img src="blob:http://webmail.centenaryrowing.com.au/5b861aeb-xxxxxxxxxx" />
</td>
<td style="width: 544.067px;">
President, Centenary Rowing Club<br />
Frank Thomson, 0414 329 164<br />
<a href="mailto:president@centenaryrowing.com.au">president@centenaryrowing.com.au</a>
<br />
<br />Centenary Rowing Club Sumners Road, RIVER HILLS 4074<br />
Post: PO Box 3601 MT OMMANY QLD 4074</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
<p>&nbsp;</p>

Now the problem is that the picture is uploaded and referenced separately.
Sometimes that shows up as a attachment which is kind of annoying.

Investigate - Can it be encoded inline?

Need to convert to base64
https://www.base64encode.org/ - Does not seem to do anything.
https://www.base64-image.de/
https://www.freeformatter.com/base64-encoder.html#ad-output - This works ok
https://base64.guru/converter/encode/image - Works best as it puts the tags around it.

The Purpose of a club President

Pondering the role and actions of a club president.

A) Drag along from the front?

B) Public figurehead?

C) Gentle herder from behind.

D) Organiser of stuff.

E)  Management committee chair. Preside over decisions made by others. 

Meditation November

Sun 1 5:13am

Learning. Control how we approach the day,  obstacles, do we need more focus? More kindness. It's a journey of opportunities to learn. 

Mon 1pm

Playfulness in difficult situations.

Difficult situations lead one to have no clarity but we need that to navigate such situations. 

Didn't really understand.  Felt very tired during the meditation. I think not very useful

Tue, we'd, Thursday, fri

Didn't do.  Slack dog that I am. 

Maybe that didn't prepare me for the disappointment associated with the rowing club. I'd sent an email to all 170 members asking for RSVP for Sundays club meeting.  14 families bothered to respond. So I then cancelled the meeting. 

Sat 6:30am

Feeling low.  Dropped Jemma at rowing at 5:30. Coffee and drive around.  Now parked in a side street. Let's get back into it. 

Curious mind. Beginners mind.  Carry with us all day. With stuff we do every day,  we tend to create or assume the same result. If we treat every action as a new experience, we can have a different outcome. Beginners mind. 

After- it was ok. Reasonable concentration on it. Feeling marginally better. 

MON 9  @1:30am

Compassion. Expecting others to express gratitude in return can make us fester when we do something and they don't respond the way we'd like. 

I'm awake.

Tue 6pm

Place of peace. Mindfulness about relating to everyday things.  Not avoiding them and the associated feelings. Not an escape.  Be present with the feelings.  Don't ruminate on the thoughts. Be present with them. 

Wednesday oops

Thursday 6am

Not being able to make sense of the world.  Busy mind but thinking is very limited. Busyness can lead to just more confusing. Acceptance get some calmness .  Just change what you can. 

Weekend was a bit ordinary 

Sat wyaralong then went to the coast. The beach seemed full of couples and families. Triggering. Forced myself to look closer and would see singles.  Sunday ok.  Keptvbusy.

Monday 6:40am

Learning to listen to our own thoughts and feelings and to those around us.  Not trying to find a solution. Don't push own opinions on others. Simply listen 

Tue 7:25

3am wake.  Feeling low. Bike ride. B pulled out. On own. Need to force myself to go. 

4:40 get up.

7:25 "true peace" as I start,  still feeling a bit low. Meditation- be at ease. Accept the situation - mind or situation - be at peace. Ok to take Acton to change the situation but from a position of peace. 

Wed 

Did not do it. Slack. State of origin. Argued with L. He went home. 

Thursday 19 nov 5am

Freedom in awareness. 

Becoming more Aware means awareness of both things we like and things we don't like.  We actually try to let the things we don't like to come gently to the surface in a controlled way

Fri sat sun mon - none

Tue 24 3:30am

Been awake for an hour.  Hung out washing. Can't sleep. 

"The greatest gift" we can give someone is to let them be themselves rather than how we think they should be.  Likewise for our self. Need to let go of wanting someone else to be a certain way. 

Wednesday 25 7:50am

Mind drifting to the future can make for worry because we make assumptions. Ok to plan and dream but don't be constantly caught up worrying about the future. In feeling a bit moody but pretty much ok.