Walked around the block. 
I live this mental struggle. 
On the one hand, lots of people care for me: 
Son's Chris and Dan. Recently Dan has been super supportive locating a RAT and shopping for food. 
Ben W, 
Tim H & Ian from the Monday night group.
Tim & Ro.
On the other hand, 
Feelings of rejection -
25 years wasted and unappreciated effort and the failure to find a new intimate partner.
Reading more of "the Berlin diaries". Wanted something paper. More mind opening than screens that seem to narrow ones thoughts. 
 
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