This was my FB post
What's on your mind?
It's 3am
Yesterday I attended the funeral of a man younger than me who'd taken his own life. Now two high school kids will grow up without a dad.
It's a topic "we" don't talk about. I dare not use the "the word" for fear the algorithm will bury my post. The rate is double the road toll and nothing is said. My sarcastic interpretation is the government & public service can't make money from it.
At the remembrance service we heard about the many good things in his life.
I wondered about the lead up.
As we stood around beforethe service, No one talked about it at all.
At other times people say things like:
It's selfish.
Could I have done something?
He suffered from mental health issues.
I think: "did he feel loved and connected"
It's a tough gig this thing called life.
For me, after my marriage crashed, I was very low. So low that I researched ways to make sure one is successful in checking out. Luckily people saw this and stepped forward. Invited me into their lives and that helped but feelings of inadequacy, failure, wtf is wrong with me were very strong.
This fellow was a smart fellow. Lots of friends and plenty of talent. Had had a life with a ton of experience. It was suggested that because he was smart he was able to hide whatever was happening inside so all appeared normal.
It's hard to know what to do. I do know that after such events we all ourselves things like "what could I have done" and "if only I'd known". For some maybe there are signs but obviously for others it's hidden. An internal bubbling pot of inadequacy and failure.
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Notes made on the day
Some of this may seem naive or cold. Just my thoughts as they fly past. Coloured by my history.
Goes to show one can be depressed, potentially lonely but not alone. Lonely in a crowd.
One wonders about the lead up....
As we stand around outside the venue, No one talks about it at all.
At other times people say things like:
It's selfish.
Could someone have done something?
He suffered from mental health issues.
I think: "did he feel loved and connected"
The suicide rate is double the road toll and very little is said. My sarcastic interpretation is the government can't make money from suicide.
Harking back to a darker time in my life (and this is self centred thinking)
When I was depressed, I looked into ways to do it and make sure it was a guaranteed end.
The service is a reflection.
The leader, in my view, has a good lead in. Inviting us to smile, laugh, cry and talk. She reminds us to talk to one another and check how each of us are going.
High intelligence means a person can Disguise the inner feeling.
We heard a lot about a wonderful life. Of competence, Academic excellence, work excellence,
Friends & connected. Dependable.
Deeply love partner and family. Travel. Overseas work, pets. Charming, a teaser,
Everything sounding like a great life.
A wonderful group of friends
big kid.
Negatives
Business failure which I read as financial stress.
There was an emotion eulogy from his oldest daughter. Grade 12 student. It was so sad. Triggering in a selfish way. I lost my dad at 12 and was ditched at 58. The kids will grow up without their dad. So sad.
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