Stanthorpe Easter Church

17 April 2022

Driving to church in Stanthorpe. 

Anger toward the uc pulsing in my heart and stomach. 

Spotify playing Fleetwood mac don't stop thinking about tomorrow helping my mind overcome the anger toward the uc. 

In my mind I'm churning "Just go with the local uc. Forget the old local. These guys had nothing to do with Sherwood" 

I'd seen the church to be a part of life. Like the cement that holds the bricks of life together. A part of the social contract. A contract spells out the roles and responsibilities of the various parties committed to that contract. 

I recognised that people come into the church with varying needs, wants, attitudes. 

What kills me is that when my marriage disintegrated, I received zero support from my local church. The social contract shown up as an illusion. 

As has been a tradition, we sang the song chosen by Rosemary. 

Hard to enjoy the service. 

Hard to smile at the jokes and throw away levity. 

When weighed down by grief - > anger, one's world shrinks. 

Interesting to reflect that a way to fight depression is to focus in the moment. Here though "the moment" is a reminder of the end of my life and world view as I'd known it. 

Of course, my thought processes are very selfish. At this very instant there's putans invasion of Ukraine. 

We've refugees incarcerated at Banyo festering now for 9+ years. 

Had to laugh, as I left to drive to Brisbane, Spotify played

Blown it all sky high

Followed by

Second hand news. 

Ha.