End Of Mariage Anniversary

A somewhat moody day. 

26 MAY 2022

Anniversaries I know are a human construct. It's just meaning we arbitrarily ascribe. I also know that the two popular categories for posting on Facebook etc are to show how good ones life is or to complain. So it's unusual to post about how one is feeling. Of course this posting does err towards complaining. 

Today is EOMA - End Of Marriage Anniversary and I still hurt. I reflect over what was wrong with me and the answer is heaps. I tried hard. So hard and failed. And failed. My inability to attract a new partner is of course a confirmation of that failure. 

Today I also reflect that 37 years of involvement at Sherwood Uniting Church finished this day 26 May in 2018 as my marriage crashed. 

There was no reach out by church council. 

Zilch. 

Not one phonecall: "are you ok?". 

Not one visit to check "are you still alive oh hey let's look up methods of suicide together so much fun". 

Not even an email or a text message. 

Zilch. No contact! 

What does that say about compassion. What does that say about community. What does that say about the leadership. 

The only reason I can think of to cross the threshold into that building will be to attend the funeral of key parishioners. 

Lasagne

Chris, Kenzie, Dan & Jemma came for dinner.

Decided to make Lasagne. 

Spag bog recipe 

White sauce

Lasagne slices. 

It's basically 2D spag bog.

The Importance Of Unimportant

A friend, Aaron, wrote a book "The Importance Of Learning to Be Unimportant While Still Knowing That You Are"

The more important you think you are, the more you hurt. 

I hurt a lot. 

Must be that I think I am important. 

Dr Strange Movie

Boys night out

Paul, Phil, Frank H, Clay, Sam, Jake & myself.

Went and saw the movie Dr Strange last night. It's a bit strange. It reminded me of the movie sucker punch - world's within worlds and it felt like a video game. A bit triggering in an emotional sense with references to intimate relationships, marriage and broken family. 

Spoilers:
It's a good v evil type of movie with some social comment. There are two strong female characters.  One super evil and the other pure, good etc.

There are two books - One of evil spells and the other of good spells.  Both get destroyed.  I wonder if this is social comment about the demise of the church and organised religion.
The male lead, comments that even saving the universe and he doesn't get the girl. - Bugger - there go my dreams... 
The good female protagonist has two mums. - Possibly a comment on today.  I am a each to their own kind of person so this did not worry me.
The evil female protagonist is a deluded mother and her desires for mothering but being childless have driven her into this evil place. - Although I have met women who wish to be mums and some mums who are a bit over bearing, this seemed to be a bit of a long shot.

I found it tedious. Too long.  I wonder if the CGI kind of makes it hard to relate to the characters. Possibly subtle facial expressions needed to make a human connection get smoothed over or something.  Maybe the directors get distracted with CGI and that takes away the human emotional element. 

Centenarr Rowing - Second Boat Evacuation

 THURSDAY 12-5-2022

I arrived at Centenary in preparation for Brigidine rowing training.  Due to continuing bad weather, it had already been agreed that this was to be a gym session.

Soon after I arrived, Tanya arrived and was chatting entusiastically on her phone.  After that call finished, Peter Hayes called me.  As I understand it, the committee had conferred over the phone and decided to evacuate the boats.

It's low tide. Who needs a pontoon to launch anyway. Hopefully someone is doing some maths to add low tide to high tide and factor in the local rain and any other factors.

This picture shows the water and the club.  I think there is about 4-5m between where the water is and the hard stand. 

This pic shows there is about 2m more water if nothing else changes.

Singles were pushed up the street and big boats put on trailers

Oars up the street

The original plan was to take the bottom few racks.  The eight and octo were going to stay.  I think some overthink began to takeover and they moved the eight and by the next day they were removing the ergs from the upper level.

I pulled the small trailer up

Personality Tests

DISC ENNEAGRAM MYERS BRIGGS

2023 update.

Below you'll see DISC test amongst others.  This is a commercial one.

This one shows me as CS.

The free web site has me as DC

https://discpersonalitytesting.com

https://www.truity.com/test/disc-personality-test

The problem now is what does it mean (if anything)

Dominance - A person primarily in this DiSC quadrant places emphasis on accomplishing results and “seeing the big picture.” They are confident, sometimes blunt, outspoken, and demanding.
I agree with this to a degree - I like to accomplish results, I see the big picture, used to be confident.  Try not to be blunt or outspoken or demanding but it does sneak through

Influence - A person in this DiSC quadrant places emphasis on influencing or persuading others. They tend to be enthusiastic, optimistic, open, trusting, and energetic.
I think I am enthusiastic, probably a bit pessimistic, Certainly open, trusting and energetic.

Steadiness  - A person in this DiSC quadrant places emphasis on cooperation, sincerity, loyalty, and dependability. They tend to have calm, deliberate dispositions, and don’t like to be rushed.
Interesting - I place a lot of emphasis on cooperation, sincerity, loyalty.  Rushed is an interesting one in that I don't like to be rushed but at the same time I like to go fast and hard

Conscientious - A person in this DiSC quadrant places emphasis on quality and accuracy, expertise and competency. They enjoy their independence, demand the details, and often fear being wrong.
This is certainly me - I do put emphasis on quality & accuracy, expertise and competency.  Obviously as a business owner I enjoy some independence but I also value the team.  I do not fear being wrong.  In fact one of my sayings is "Better the wrong decision than indecision"

ENNEAGRAM - Another personality test. 

This one says I am a "2" and I think the other one says I am a "4" but also "2,5,7,9" are similar and almost as high as a "4" 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enneagram_of_Personality

1 Reformer, Perfectionist

2 Helper, Giver

3 Achiever, Performer

 

4  Individualist, Romantic

5 Investigator, Observer

6 Loyalist, Loyal Skeptic

7 Enthusiast, Epicure

8 Challenger, Protector

9 Peacemaker, Mediator

NK Cox Box Repair 2

 The Brigidine kids did their first regatta at Wyaralong yesterday.  The club has a number of bow coxed quads.  In my opinion, bow coxed quads and kids do not go well together.  At the very least, we need cox boxes.  My previous cox box vanished.  I assume washed away in the flood.

I have 3 potentials.  Recently I bought new batteries.

CHARGER

The pin out for the charger is here:  https://thomsoneu.blogspot.com/2015/09/cox-box-charger-fix.html

Basically the centre pin is +ve. 
I found a 12V plug pack and cut off the round plug.

I decided to mark the +ve lead of the plug and the +ve lead of the charger individually to minimise the likelihood of screwing it up.

One problem I have experienced with NK plug packs is that they will measure 12V when not connected but seem to die under load and not charge.  

Before doing the final heatshrink I plugged it together and observed the red charge light and measured the 12V as 12V = Good.  I also measured the battery voltage.  It was very low at 5V without the charger and was 6 V rising to 7V while I observed while charging.

Mothers Day

 Today is "mothers day"

My mum died some years ago.  My wife left me.  The closest person as a "mother" in my life is Ro.

Kind of just feeling especially alone.

Brought home on Facebook with lots of mothers day posts.  

I went into work and on the way stopped to buy a coffee.  The shop busy with Mothers Day breakfasts.

Jemmas GR12 Formal

 I drove Jemma's Tiida to the pre formal party.

Interestingly I had coached Jemma's data at BGS.

The kids left in a stretched limo.  Apparantly the driver was tense and grumpy.

At 10:30 I rocked up to Vic Park and picked up 6 kids in the Captiva and took them back to the house where the pre was.  Jemma stayed the night.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SEQ Conference Regatta

 Centenary / Brigidine / Kenmore and I understand various other schools and clubs elected not to attend the first regatta.  It was held (I think) on the Maroochy river but the bigger problem, from my POV was that it was long distances.  The old GCASRA regattas had 500m novice events which was much better for fearful GR7 kids.

This second regatta was held at Wyaralong.

White Rabbit Gallery

 Walked from marcus' and Sophie's flat to the White Rabbit Gallery.

It was an exhibition about China.  Later I understood that this gallery is focussed on China.

The 'stone' column appealed to me. In the 'real' world, columns are vertical, strong. Solid. Image of strength. Supporting. Holding something up. Symbolising strength. Images of power.

The arty contradiction. Not only not vertical. Not even a column fallen over. It's soft,  tied in knots. On the ground and it moves.