2 years and 1 month ago we parted ways.
I guess it's the modern way.
In the media we hear about the violence associated with marriages. I see celebrities marry and separate as if they were just coming and going from a party.
So here am I. Two years on and still unable to shake that sadness. A low level depression that seemed to grow on me from sometime in the middle of the marriage. Moments of clarity but times of sadness. Regret. A feeling of wasted time. Today and to a lesser degree this week just gone, times of anger, regret, relief. A whole range of feelings. Most nights waking at 2am ish and having a wave of all these and almost any other feeling you can think of.
I guess I'd seen life as living within a framework. The social contact. I do my part. I fit in.
So I put effort in. It was for life. I tried so hard and failed so hard. Failed again and again. So many shortcomings.
VISIT TO THE GRAVEYARD
7am dropped Jemma at rowing. Bought a coffee at the 7-11., started driving ended up at the Towong cemetery. Thought I'd look at mum and dads grave. I'll never be there with my [ex] wife. That part of the structure of life gone.
FUCK FACEBOOK
What a difference 11 months makes.
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