https://youtu.be/YOQ9cCDLG4Q
3:30 depart.
By 4:45 I've walked past those lowly surfs eating over priced bagels and scrambled eggs to the qantas club. You know that place for those of us from high society.
Airlines excel in multiple areas: Reinforcing compliance, under delivery and emphasising class differences.
This is where we get reminded of who's in charge. Clustering with the wealthy and famous. None shall enter until the high priest deems its time. Chat to a canberra family on their way home from Warsaw.
The doors open and boarding passes at the ready we queue again. And here we get another reminder of one's social place. Although I had dutifully linked the access pass kindly gifted by brother Henry to my booking, the establishment wish to ensure i'm well aware of my status as a welfare recipient. When my boarding pass is scanned, the lady tells me to stand with the other welfare recipients and locate a certain confirmation email. Having predicted there would be some issue like this, I had a screen shot showing the entry linked to the booking. The lady proclaimed she could but read my screen because she didn't have her glasses. So I dutifully joined to other welfare recipient and searched for the aforementioned email. Finally located and I offered up the screen of my phone to which she said that's all I needed without even looking at it. I checked "so I can go in now". "yes of course" was her exasperated answer.
In awe of learning how the other half live and full of expectation I walked the magnificent entry atrium? which opened to the expanses of the Qantas club. I'm thinking coffee, bacon and eggs will be the go. Hmmm bloody big queue for the coffee. I amble past the food offerings. A nice selection of cold meats and cheese that would do me well at 5pm and very nicely presented fruit platter. Hmm the best hot food on offer is a DIY toast machine. So it's fruit toast while I wait for the coffee queue to abate. Toast finished. Coffee queued and consumed. I'm kind of thinking scrambled eggs with the plebs would have been more satisfying.
Reminder n+1: " excellence in under delivery" .
The flight is called and I figure a quick wee stop. But alas the toilets are blocked off with cones and cleaning signs. Parents and small kids are queuing for the one disabled toilet so it's on my way to the gate. Toilet stop with the plebs along the way. The gate is a fair way from the club and I find myself identifying as a park runner. Up ahead I see the earlier mentioned family so not too concerned. I feel validation as a person when I hear on the PA "would Mr Thomson and the xyz family please proceed to gate 31"
At the gate I beg the forgiveness of the lady. Wondering if I should drop to my knees or even prostrate myself on the floor. However she unexpectedly smiles and says "welcome mr Thomson".
On board and of couse we are again reminded of our social status as we proceed past those lovely large comfortable seats with legroom to the economy section.
The on board experience (Allianz air) actually as good as any zoo class experience I've had in the past. Even the Quiche Lorraine in a cardboard box surpassed the offerings of the qantas club.
Brisbane Qantas Club
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