One tribe is the old tribe. The group I was a part of while married. But I'm not really in it. No one calls me. I'm not invited to things. But at the same time, it impacts on me emotionally. Especially when I hear of get togethers.
I'm told it takes 4 years for guys to get over the rejection of divorce. So two years of depression and sadness ahead.
Feeling low as I write this.
Wondering what to do.
Kind of buried myself in work and rowing. But that's really a distraction.
Sometime I've got to work out how to move on.
It's just really hard. How to get over 25 years of family focus. Church focus. Two tribes now nolonger. But still the echo's of the past. The heart strings tugged by the memories and remains of those groups. A feeling of anger and sadness of time wasted. Effort put in that lead to this. Effort directed to family and being in a group and now I have neither. Jealousy though that others do.
Oh well.
1am
I try to connect but when I phone, people don't pick up or if they do, they are busy. On the flip side, no one calls me anyone. Who wants to talk to a rejected old depressed fuckker anyway.
2:26am
3:00am watch it tick over.
4:20am
5:30am
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