Compensation

 Lonliness

Compensate for inability to find love and a lover by working and exercise and eating.

Knowing that I am faulty in the human compatibility department. Somehow just a bit off.  Not quite acceptable to the women out there and at the same time, when a woman is interested in me, I seem to not feel it.  Feeling like I did my best and fucked it up and cast aside.  

I guess atm I can provide a bit of a back stop for my kids.  In a way a thread of purpose.  

I guess the only place I am in anyway successful is work.  Electronics, computers, micrcontrollers, technology.  But not in relationships.  So to stave off the feelings of loneliness and mild sadness mild depression, I engage in other activities.